So.... your child expressed an interest in learning an instrument and like all good parents who can afford to, you arrange a tutor for them and gently encourage them to pursue their goal. You applaud when they play their first notes; you buy them the books they need; you make time in your busy schedule to get them to lessons.
Eventually the notes become recognisable tunes and it all seems worth it ... but cut to a few months down the line and many children have lost the initial enthusiasm...what was once novel has now become routine and that most common phrase that I have heard so often as a tutor appears: "BUT THEY NEVER PRACTICE!"
It's all too tempting to threaten them with taking away their lessons at this point but then you are creating an easy pattern of 'giving up' when the going gets tough and let's face it, you want them to carry on. So should you pay for lessons when they don't seem to be taking on the task with enthusiasm?
Well, the first thing to check is 'are they playing the right instrument for them?' look at your child's character. If they are shy and retiring they may be suited to instruments that don't make a huge presence when played, that sit in the middle of an orchestra and blend softly, a viola, a french horn, a harp. Or maybe they need to find their voice and a blast on a trumpet fills them with enormous pleasure? Those children who prefer solitude benefit from instruments that can accompany themselves such as piano or guitar, especially later during the teen years when they may take solace in their music.
See, that's the thing, what you are giving is something that will last a lifetime. As long as they aren't refusing to go to lessons and are happy to engage with the task at least once a week it is often the case that the motivation comes later.
We all know the merits of creating a star chart, of rewarding good study, of creating a regular time of day to practice so it becomes habit (even just 5 mins), but what we want is for the child to find that place in themselves where they WANT to practice.
That point may occur when the teacher produces a piece they really really want to play and haven't been capable of it before. A good teacher will find such a piece and as a parent you can do the same. "If you could play any piece, what would you like to play?" you can ask and then find an easy version online to download for them.
As a tutor I always find that often pupils will find something for themselves and come to lessons saying "I didn't practise what you gave me but I learned this on youtube.." Which is always useful as a guide of where to take the lessons next. A clever teacher finds pieces that both inspire and contain the technique they need to progress
And that progress is so much more than being able to do a recital with an audience present. Some children may never do this. Its learning how to use the whole of the brain ( no other activity will provide this) It's emotional therapy, it's maths, its acoustic science, it's learning to listen, learning to express. Would you begrudge paying for a massage for yourself once a week? You may not think you deserve it but if someone was paying wouldn't you take it?
So trust the process and let them learn in their own time. Without practice they won't become the next virtuoso, no, it's true, but don't underestimate the gift you are giving them for a lifetime.
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